Assalammualaikum friends,
Currently it is a sunny sunday morning, listening to Beethoven greatest hits, my favorite would be Piano Sonata No.14 "Moonlight", and im in my pyjamas even though i bathed, after mandi i grab my pyjamas just thinking, thinking what have just happen this morning, why did i cried masa solat subuh, why must i cry so hard sampai mata lebam...
I remembered, it tick me off, bile teringat i mimpi 'aizol amri', yes i dream of my ex husband... Usually masa time kawen, i will mimpi my ex husband which was 'husband' that time, during times when he left me lama, and the only time i will see him adalah dalam mimpi..
But after divorce, it's hard and i never mimpi him anymore...
What i like about my husband during that dream is that, it is always the other side of him, the loving one, the one that surprises, care bout me and sweet and love me dearly.. which those attitude i see sebelum kahwin and that 3 days after nikah... kenapa that 3 days after nikah affected me so much, because he was the husband i always wanted.. but it all shattered away...
Rindu? tipu if i say i dont miss him... but then, teringat balik perangai lama yang dira tak nak lalui lagi, trus i come back to reality, back to where i am standing now, remembering why we divorce at the first place.
tapi, let me share apa dira mimpi... i dont remember the rest of the mimpi except the time bila ada dia je in that mimpi...
THE DREAM STARTS LIKE THIS
Stop at the pump minyak station with azlin my besties..
i wanted to buy some snacks, then azlin call me up, she wanted to ask me question, but before she could say something, she froze, i said 'yes babe, knape?' with her big eyes, i knew it in my heart ada someone dekat belakang..
Dira pusing.....
and there he was, dia x cakap pape just diri je blakang dira, dia macam serba salah untuk tibe tibe ada kat blakang dira...
dia tak cakap pape pun mulanya, our eyes mata bertentangan mata, then dia pun, trus nak pegi (it is like as if 'im not ready to tell her')...
Dira said 'Stop Awak!!, please dont go'
then he said 'i am sorry' trus beredar... dira dengan pantas trus cakap 'dira sayang awak'....
and that is all... i remember his face, muka dia x bermaya, eyes with tears, jambang was all over not like usual neat n clean... i always love his jambang... dia nampak berisi and much more manly....
End....
and dira solat subuh from start crying till doa crying and i lay my head and stop the crying....
is it still painful?
Love,
Nadirah Mior
